If you’re a pet parent for a large dog like a Great Dane, no doubt you’ve wondered, “Why does my dog sit on me?” Dogs are social animals that communicate needs and feelings nonverbally through their quirky behaviors. Of course, we encourage small dogs to sit on us. That’s what the term “lap dog” is for. But why would a big dog want to sit you too?
Some claim that dogs sit on us to show dominance. And climbing on our laps can indeed be a problem. This is one reason it’s best to use a dog car seat belt to restrain a dog in the car. Having our best friend trying to wriggle onto a lap while driving has caused many accidents.
To answer this question thoroughly, we’ve consulted Dog Behavior Specialist Brenda Aloff’s book, Canine Body Language. This article will cover precisely why dogs sit on you and when to discourage the behavior.
So, why does my dog sit on me?
Dogs primarily like to sit on us for cuddles and attention. It’s a way to be as close to us and bond. Sometimes dogs also sit on us when they are possessive and try to keep other dogs or people away. Dogs are not likely to sit on us to dominate us, but it may be a sign of insecurity, anxiety, or resource guarding.
Reasons Why Dogs Like To Sit On You
To Show Affection
Dogs are programmed to live in packs, and since domestication, they view their parent as a pack member. Being physically close to a pack member is primarily a way to bond. Research suggests that our brains produce a feel-good hormone called oxytocin when we gaze at our dogs.
Similar to your dog sleeping between your legs, sitting on you, is their version of “I love you, Hooman, let me come and sit on you.” Sharing your space and being as close as possible, such as by being on your lap, is one way they deepen and reaffirm their bond with their favorite people. Putting their bodies on us is also a way for dogs to spread their scent and make sure other dogs know they were near us.
In the video below, you can see an example of many dogs sitting or laying on their owners simply as a show of deep love and affection.
To Be Protective And To Feel Protected
Some dogs can be fearful and anxious and look to you to protect them or soothe their insecurity. Dogs sitting on you from fear may become aggressive and require proper training and careful behaviour modification.
Sitting on you can be a sign of hyper attachment or a dog that only feels safe when they are physically close to you. This can lead to separation anxiety if you are not close by.
They Want Your Attention
Most of us will naturally pet a smaller dog that sits on our lap without thinking. In the case of bigger dogs, sitting on you makes them impossible to ignore and can be a way to ensure you put your phone down and give them your undivided attention. To dogs, undivided attention is bliss.
They Are Jealous
Many dogs are jealous and prone to resource guarding. This is a bit like how you might feel when your best friend calls somebody else their bestie. Don’t you just want to nip this new “best friend”? Dogs who resource guard you see your attention (and you) as a limited resource and are anxious that you may give it to another person or dog.
A resource-guarding dog usually has a stiff, tense body rather than a floppy, relaxed one. Their gaze will be fixated outward in a “hard stare” at another dog or person they see as their rival. Sitting on you is one way to claim you as “theirs.” This is a problem behavior that can escalate into aggression.
Because We Encourage It
We often encourage dogs to sit on us by giving them a butt scratch or laughing. This keeps them repeating the action to get our praise and attention. When a Great Dane lands their giant butt on our lap, and we laugh and squeal, we signal that we find this adorable.
Because they sat on you as puppies
Another primary reason dogs sit on their owners is that this behavior was shaped when they were puppies. If a Labrador sat on your lap when they were little, most see no reason to stop doing it when they are big.
While most owners don’t mind if their dog sits on them, it’s best to be mindful of this when a dog is young if it will be a problem later on.
Suppose you got a large dog breed as a puppy and have a frail person in your home. In this case, it’s best to discourage the puppy from sitting on people in general, as you don’t want to tempt accidental injury by having them sit on somebody when they weigh 150 lbs.
Separation Anxiety and General Anxiety
Other than to show affection and to be as close as they can be to their parents, dogs also sit on you when scared. Encouraging the behavior when fear-driven can lead to worse cases, such as separation anxiety.
This happens when a clingy dog is left alone for too long by the people they are attached to.
Dogs suffering from this may sit on you as though trying to stop you from leaving. Research shows that 4 out of 6 dogs don’t cope well when left alone.
Genetics
A lot of dog behavior comes down to genetics, bloodline, and breed. Some breeds, regardless of size, are simply more affectionate than others and will spend more time trying to get close to you, including sitting on you.
In the case of small dogs bred to be companions, such as the Bichon Frise, Chihuahua, or Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, being a “lap dog” is what they were bred to do. So it’s natural behavior meant to provide their owners with love, affection, and companionship.
But not all large breeds got the memo that they are not lap dogs. Golden Retrievers, Labradors, Newfoundlands, Great Danes, and Mastiffs are big snuggle buddies that may find it harder to sit on your lap, but their size won’t deter them. Great Danes are notorious for seeing themselves as lap dogs.
More independent breeds, like the Chow Chow, are less inclined to do this, but naturally, this will differ from dog to dog.
Should I Let My Dog Sit On Me?
If your dog sits on you purely out of affection, and there is no danger of anybody getting injured, there is no reason not to let them. It’s a great way to cement your bond. However, if your dog is sitting on you because they are possessive or anxious, you must deal with the underlying behavioral issue before letting them onto your lap.
How To Stop My Dog From Sitting On Me?
Ignore Them By Standing Up And Turning Away (Consistently)
Divert Them To The Behavior You Want
You can also teach your dog better behavior by praising them for sitting at your feet or beside you rather than on top of you. This positive reinforcement can shape behaviors you want and give your dog an alternativ-e-archive, rather than just shouting at them for something they may not understand is wrong.
Invest In Other Ways To Bond
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can my dog’s sitting on me be a sign of anxiety or insecurity?
Does my dog sitting on me mean they love me more than other family members?
Why does my dog only sit on me when I’m wearing certain clothes?
Can my dog’s sitting on me be a sign of illness or pain?
Final Thoughts
Dogs will sit on us to show affection, protect us even when there’s no harm, and feel the protection reciprocated. They will also sit on us to come between someone or an object they consider a competition. However, humans and dogs appreciate each other’s comfort, and it shouldn’t be a problem unless it’s uncomfortable or they do it for the wrong reasons.
Meet Your Experts
Author
Tamsin de la Harpe has nearly two decades of experience with dogs in rescue, training, and behavior modification with fearful and aggressive dogs. She has worked closely with veterinarians and various kennels, building up extensive medical knowledge and an understanding of canine health and physiology. She also spent two years in the animal sciences as a canine nutrition researcher, focusing on longevity and holistic healthcare for our four-legged companions. Tamsin currently keeps a busy homestead with an assortment of rescue dogs and three Bullmastiffs.